I smell stomach acid.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
