Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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