Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
