you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
