You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
