It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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