it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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