why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
