I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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