Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
