hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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