bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
