So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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