I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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