those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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