I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
