so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
