3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
