How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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