farters have to be the big spoon...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
