I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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