I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
