Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
