i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
