so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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