His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
