if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
