Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
