When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
