He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Who died my cat blue again?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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