you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i would one night stand the shit outta him
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
