I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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