it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
