genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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