hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
