One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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