i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
