he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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