as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
