maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
