mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
