My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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