Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I hate all girls vehemently.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
