I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
