ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
