it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
