if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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