I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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