I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
