you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
