what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
