he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Sex in the backyard? Check.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
